Minutes turn to hours, hours turn to days, days turn to months and months to years as time marches on. How are you doing on this walk with grief? They (whomever "they"are) say time heals all wounds. I am not sure time can completely heal the wounds left by grief. Some losses are so great with wounds so deep they never seem to heal. There it is looming up in every area of our lives. That huge vacant space left by the loss of our loved one. As time passes, we try to fill it with other things. Anything, to ease the pain and fill the void. Many fall into a depression and turn to medications for help. Others turn to activities or even people. Some try to loose themselves and the pain in a bottle. But it is always still there. Life has changed drastically and it will never be the same again. No amount of time will change that. (sigh) How do we cope? Can we cope? I think of the firemen that lost their lives in the terrible forest fire in Arizona. The families left do deal with this huge loss. I am sure they are asking these questions.
Is there an answer, you ask. Will I ever be free of the pain and grief? I do not know. I say that because a lot depends on where you are looking for answers. The first step for me was accepting that every thing had changed and would never be the same again. From the way I bought groceries and fixed meals to the place where I live........all changed. Change does not come easy for us older folks. It has been two years and seven months since my husband passed away. I am beginning to accept that my life will never be the same.
The second step for me was changing how I was filling the "void" left by Daniel's passing. Without really realizing it, I began to put my son in the place of his father. Leaning heavily on him emotionally. Feeling hurt and upset when he couldn't fill the void. In the past year I came face to face with the reality of what I was doing. No one can take Daniel's place in my life.
The third step for me has been a step of faith. Time has not healed my wounds. It has not eased the pain of loss. It has not been a comfort to me much at all. I found myself looking back in time instead of looking forward. I even went back to the place Daniel and I lived for so many years. There was no healing there. Now I am back to Washington where we last lived. Did all this moving around change things? No. Did it comfort me? No, not really. What did and does?
The answer to that question is Jesus Christ. Psalm 147:3 " The Lord heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds." I can testify to that fact. When nothing else can heal that awful wound, He can and will. Reach out to Him, let him bind up your broken heart and fill the empty spaces. Let Jesus bring back the joy in your life.
Is there an answer, you ask. Will I ever be free of the pain and grief? I do not know. I say that because a lot depends on where you are looking for answers. The first step for me was accepting that every thing had changed and would never be the same again. From the way I bought groceries and fixed meals to the place where I live........all changed. Change does not come easy for us older folks. It has been two years and seven months since my husband passed away. I am beginning to accept that my life will never be the same.
The second step for me was changing how I was filling the "void" left by Daniel's passing. Without really realizing it, I began to put my son in the place of his father. Leaning heavily on him emotionally. Feeling hurt and upset when he couldn't fill the void. In the past year I came face to face with the reality of what I was doing. No one can take Daniel's place in my life.
The third step for me has been a step of faith. Time has not healed my wounds. It has not eased the pain of loss. It has not been a comfort to me much at all. I found myself looking back in time instead of looking forward. I even went back to the place Daniel and I lived for so many years. There was no healing there. Now I am back to Washington where we last lived. Did all this moving around change things? No. Did it comfort me? No, not really. What did and does?
The answer to that question is Jesus Christ. Psalm 147:3 " The Lord heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds." I can testify to that fact. When nothing else can heal that awful wound, He can and will. Reach out to Him, let him bind up your broken heart and fill the empty spaces. Let Jesus bring back the joy in your life.
1 comment:
Joy, you write from your heart which I can relate to. You should write a book about all this. You will be helping someone I know, someone that is keeping all their feelings locked inside them selves. No friends to talk to? That was my case, but I have one now that I just open up to about everything. He has been alone for twenty years, so he knows how it feels not to have anyone to talk to about your loss. Others as you said, have different excuses why they keep it all inside hidden.
We share the same feelings and I understand all your postings to your blog. Sometimes I feel you are writing about me ! You do a good job with this blog, keep up the writing, you keep me going along.
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