The Bible tells us that only God knows the number of our days. I have been pondering some things regarding this. Why are the number of days uneven? Example: Daniel's days were up, but I am still here with days to go. It would seem logical to me that our days should be over together.
I have never been a horse person so to speak, but I do know what a well matched team looks like pulling a load together. My grandfather was a farmer and plowed with a team of horses. (As a child I would go to the field with him playing in the dirt at the edge of the field while he plowed.) A good marriage relationship is like that. Two people pulling life's load together as a team. Sometimes through hardships and around difficulties. Over time they become a well matched "team". When you are used to being a "team" and one of the team is no longer there, it is very difficult to pull the load.
Some forage ahead because of small children, some find another and become a team again. However, some become mired down with despair and depression and stop pulling altogether. Coming to a complete stop in life. Just marking the days. Watching time pass as they wait for the "number of their days" to come up. This is not good.
I think we come to a point in the grief process where we have to make a choice. Where do I go from here? What do I do with the rest of my days? Do I want to go on alone? These are all questions that run across our minds like a scroll. We have to meet them head on. Answering each one as it comes up.
Do I want to go on alone? In the early days of grief we answer that with a big NO. It seems impossible to go on alone. The hurt is too great! The pain of loss seems unbearable. We can not imagine a life without our loved one beside us. Then over time the question changes to "Can I go on alone?" and to this one we can choose to answer yes.
Bringing up the next question :
Where do I go from here? This is not an easy one to answer. Sometimes we eagerly move on. Thinking it will help ease the pain and grief of loss. This often results in rash decisions that we regret later. Not an easy question to answer. I would say, one step at a time, one day at a time.
What do I do with the rest of my days? I think I am at this place in the grief walk. I find myself just marking time. Not knowing what to do with my days. Not always feeling like I can be productive anymore. (sigh) Sometimes feeling old and alone. The doorway to despair and depression.
If you have lost your team mate at a relative young age, it may be different for you. You probably have had to continue working and have a family to care for.
However, for those of us who are older, retired, and finding ourselves no longer part of a team; it can be difficult to move on. I feel like I am a different person. I no longer "fit in" to areas I was once very active in. Since I am older, my physical abilities are limited.
Where do I go from here. I am going to make a conscious choice to find out. As a christian, my first instinct is to start with prayer. Asking God to help me find direction and purpose for these days He has left me with. I am sure it would not be His will for me to just mark time. Not knowing what to do or how to begin I am going to need His help.
My second step will be to go to His word. The Bible has always been my road map for life.
Where are you? If you find yourself at the threshold of despair, make a choice today to do something about it. Don't continue to just mark time. We can all be productive in some way. Find out what your way is.
I have never been a horse person so to speak, but I do know what a well matched team looks like pulling a load together. My grandfather was a farmer and plowed with a team of horses. (As a child I would go to the field with him playing in the dirt at the edge of the field while he plowed.) A good marriage relationship is like that. Two people pulling life's load together as a team. Sometimes through hardships and around difficulties. Over time they become a well matched "team". When you are used to being a "team" and one of the team is no longer there, it is very difficult to pull the load.
Some forage ahead because of small children, some find another and become a team again. However, some become mired down with despair and depression and stop pulling altogether. Coming to a complete stop in life. Just marking the days. Watching time pass as they wait for the "number of their days" to come up. This is not good.
I think we come to a point in the grief process where we have to make a choice. Where do I go from here? What do I do with the rest of my days? Do I want to go on alone? These are all questions that run across our minds like a scroll. We have to meet them head on. Answering each one as it comes up.
Do I want to go on alone? In the early days of grief we answer that with a big NO. It seems impossible to go on alone. The hurt is too great! The pain of loss seems unbearable. We can not imagine a life without our loved one beside us. Then over time the question changes to "Can I go on alone?" and to this one we can choose to answer yes.
Bringing up the next question :
Where do I go from here? This is not an easy one to answer. Sometimes we eagerly move on. Thinking it will help ease the pain and grief of loss. This often results in rash decisions that we regret later. Not an easy question to answer. I would say, one step at a time, one day at a time.
What do I do with the rest of my days? I think I am at this place in the grief walk. I find myself just marking time. Not knowing what to do with my days. Not always feeling like I can be productive anymore. (sigh) Sometimes feeling old and alone. The doorway to despair and depression.
If you have lost your team mate at a relative young age, it may be different for you. You probably have had to continue working and have a family to care for.
However, for those of us who are older, retired, and finding ourselves no longer part of a team; it can be difficult to move on. I feel like I am a different person. I no longer "fit in" to areas I was once very active in. Since I am older, my physical abilities are limited.
Where do I go from here. I am going to make a conscious choice to find out. As a christian, my first instinct is to start with prayer. Asking God to help me find direction and purpose for these days He has left me with. I am sure it would not be His will for me to just mark time. Not knowing what to do or how to begin I am going to need His help.
My second step will be to go to His word. The Bible has always been my road map for life.
Where are you? If you find yourself at the threshold of despair, make a choice today to do something about it. Don't continue to just mark time. We can all be productive in some way. Find out what your way is.
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