"Precious memories, ♪♫ How they linger...♪♫ How they ever flood my soul....♪♫
The words to this old song are running through my head today. I am reflecting again.
Today a missionary came to my house. He is a young man with a family of five children. Baby number five was born just a few weeks ago. They are missionaries in Bolivia here on leave. When they visited our church, I noticed on their list of needs that he could use some tools for working on their motor home. I approached him and asked if he would like to come by my house to look through Daniel's tools.
Daniel's tools, along other things special to him, have been untouched in the garage since he passed away 16 months ago. I have not felt like doing much with that area. It was his domain. For many months things were just as he left them. Nothing was moved or disturbed. Gradually things began to be moved here and there, but for the most part things are just the way he left them. Daniel loved tools. He had lots of them. He always wanted to have a shop or garage to put out all his tools. He was so happy to at last be able to to that. When we first moved here, he spent hours out in the garage getting all the tools organized. I had no idea what he was doing out there; until today. As the young missionary began to open up the tool boxes, and there are many, each one was unique. He explained to me what each one was for. "This one, he said, is his electrical box. When he was working on something to do with the electrical system all he had to do was take this box" Me? I was clueless.
He opened one with different things in it and told me what that box was for. He said he could tell a lot about a man from looking at his tools.
Once again I realized there were many things about the man I had been married to for 43 years that I did not know. How well do you know your mate? My advice? Take time to observe and get to know the one you love and want to spend the rest of your life with.
I had intended to be a blessing to the young missionary, but it was the other way around. He opened a door of insight into my husband that I had not seen before. I know Daniel would have been pleased to know that his beloved tools would be a blessing to this young man. He would have been proud to show him all the things that he had. He would have been generous with his giving, because that was the kind of man he was. My regret is I did not notice these things until it was to late to acknowledge them to him.
I am learning that part of the grief process is dealing with regret and guilt. I think regret is the hardest of all. It leads to guilt and if you let it to despair. How many times do we say to ourselves, Oh if only......... We can not go back. There are no do overs in death. We can only ask for help to go forward.
Time passes so swiftly
Take stock in what you have.
Make each day count.
How many times have we read or heard these phrases only to let them roll off us like water off a ducks back. Why is it that only when it is too late do we realize how important it is? I do not have the answer. I can only hope that you will not go down the same path of regret that I am on.
Ask God to help you. Ask Him to show you how you can change. He will. My problem? I didn't ask soon enough.
The words to this old song are running through my head today. I am reflecting again.
Today a missionary came to my house. He is a young man with a family of five children. Baby number five was born just a few weeks ago. They are missionaries in Bolivia here on leave. When they visited our church, I noticed on their list of needs that he could use some tools for working on their motor home. I approached him and asked if he would like to come by my house to look through Daniel's tools.
Daniel's tools, along other things special to him, have been untouched in the garage since he passed away 16 months ago. I have not felt like doing much with that area. It was his domain. For many months things were just as he left them. Nothing was moved or disturbed. Gradually things began to be moved here and there, but for the most part things are just the way he left them. Daniel loved tools. He had lots of them. He always wanted to have a shop or garage to put out all his tools. He was so happy to at last be able to to that. When we first moved here, he spent hours out in the garage getting all the tools organized. I had no idea what he was doing out there; until today. As the young missionary began to open up the tool boxes, and there are many, each one was unique. He explained to me what each one was for. "This one, he said, is his electrical box. When he was working on something to do with the electrical system all he had to do was take this box" Me? I was clueless.
He opened one with different things in it and told me what that box was for. He said he could tell a lot about a man from looking at his tools.
Once again I realized there were many things about the man I had been married to for 43 years that I did not know. How well do you know your mate? My advice? Take time to observe and get to know the one you love and want to spend the rest of your life with.
I had intended to be a blessing to the young missionary, but it was the other way around. He opened a door of insight into my husband that I had not seen before. I know Daniel would have been pleased to know that his beloved tools would be a blessing to this young man. He would have been proud to show him all the things that he had. He would have been generous with his giving, because that was the kind of man he was. My regret is I did not notice these things until it was to late to acknowledge them to him.
I am learning that part of the grief process is dealing with regret and guilt. I think regret is the hardest of all. It leads to guilt and if you let it to despair. How many times do we say to ourselves, Oh if only......... We can not go back. There are no do overs in death. We can only ask for help to go forward.
Time passes so swiftly
Take stock in what you have.
Make each day count.
How many times have we read or heard these phrases only to let them roll off us like water off a ducks back. Why is it that only when it is too late do we realize how important it is? I do not have the answer. I can only hope that you will not go down the same path of regret that I am on.
Ask God to help you. Ask Him to show you how you can change. He will. My problem? I didn't ask soon enough.
2 comments:
Once again Joy, you have expressed the 'heart' of many of us widows, I'm sure. Me, anyway! How true that we can let our regrets become the enemy of our spiritual walk. Only to remember: the mercy of God is endless! May God be close to you today and may you feel the warmness of that mercy!
I secong that Joy. I know first hand of the kind of man Daniel was. I saw the struggles he faced and yet he always kept going and did whatever he had to do to take care of his family. THE EXAMPLE that I saw from him has often inspired me to keep going even when I felt there was no use.By the worlds standards Daniel may not have been in the inner circle but it would have been their loss.
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